Dancing to my own tune
by Maria - Madoka Ayukawa
Summary: As Allenby trains alone, she thinks about what happened in the Gundam Fight... Onesided AllenbyxDomon, spoiler-tastic. Written for a friend. ONE-SHOT!


"Dancing to my own tune". 

A G Gundam ficlet by Maria.  
Disclaimer: G Gundam, Domon, Rain, Allenby, etc. belong to Yasuhiro Imagawa.  
Warning: Spoilers for the whole series.  
Summary: Allenby fights, dances, dreams... and lives. As she trains, she thinks about what happened to her in the 13th Gundam Fight...

* * *

_/ Hop. Kick. Punch. Jab. Dodge. Duck down. Drop kick /_

Fighting is like a choreography, kinda like dancing to a tune that your bosses or masters put as a background music. In my case, it's a rhythm I've learned to dance and follow since the Neo Swedish military and transformed into a sort of fighting puppet princess, someone who should follow orders and fight for everyone's sake but my own.

_/Stand up. Kick. Punch. Jump/_

I wasn't easy to pin down. My pain upon my orphanhood was still burning, and I almost wanted to go to that Much Better Place where my guardians told me that my parents were. It took them a lot of effort to just start taming me - even after I became a little more docile and started to follow their indications, I didn't always do it gracefully and submissively. I wanted to express my troubled feelings through my fights, to find someone who'd reply to my desperate call - even whenever I was under the effects of the Berserker System.

_/Land. Stand up. Kick. Turn. Roundhouse kick/_

And I thought Domon Kasshu was The One. Why not, eh? He could push me to a draw in that videogame place, and was the first one able to really calm me down when I was controlled by my Berserker Rage, during our match. What could go wrong, tell me? Nothing, some would say; he saw me as a human girl, not as the Neo Swedish Gundam Fighter, and I loved that. I even thought that, as the first man able to keep up with me, he would save me from the dark, or if not save me he could help me to get out from it...

_/Duck down again. Low punch. Drop kick/_

But deep down, he was just like me. Pained, frustrated, expressing his conflict through his fists, and with his own tragic background. Yes, he could've been That Person, however... none of us was ready to be together. And the circumstances around us and the Gundam Fight tore us even more apart...

_/Defense stance. Hold on! Resist! Don't hold back/_

Domon also had Rain. No, I don't hate her, and never really would. She would be annoyed by our childish antics and at times even get jealous because of me hanging out with him... but when it was needed, she was by us. Yes, I say us, not only him. She came back even after he unfairly mistreated her (and sort of because of me), and when I was brainwashed into attacking him in Rantao, she was the one who saved my life and my sanity.

_/Attack now! Fight! Fight! FIGHT/_

And Rain was even willing to let me have Domon. She told me so herself - because of her father being involved in the conspiracy against Domon's family, she could never ever face him again. No, dammit, no! That never was your fault, woman! And I'd never accept such a deal! Yes, I loved him, and even said so in front of her while we were fighting it out - but what about him?

_/ Don't surrender! Come on! Don't give up! Fight on/_

Domon loved and needed Rain. Because she was the rock he rested against. I just... couldn't compare to something like that, since we weren't two sides of a coin... and I never knew the real him just like she did. I told her so, hell, I even told him that! And that was one of the reasons why I dragged myself out of the colony hospital and joined the fight in the Neo Japanese colony - I wanted my point to be clear, and if he wasn't destined to be with me, I'd better make sure he'd be happy with her.

_/Win, win! You can, girl! Win/_

And it happened. Domon managed to rescue Rain from the Devil Gundam that had her imprisoned as its Seitai Unit, and he also told her that he loved her. Everyone was happy. And I also was... but not completely. Everything in the world I used to know was turned upside down in this present Gundam Fight. However, this didn't mean I was completely defeated...

_/YOU DID IT/_

I left them on their own few after the end of the deal, and decided to give myself time. There were so many things to do - keep on training, make a deal with my government about my situation, adapt myself to fighting without the Berserker system... and, possibly, to find someone really able to follow my dance steps. I must walk that yellow brick road, and reach its very end, while dancing to my very new rhythm.

_/Relax, now. Clear your mind... Rest./_


End file.
